[x]

I Want To Want ItI'm stuck
I don't know if I want out
But I want to want it.

I don't want to stop cutting
If I'm honest..
I Love the scars that are accumulating
I Love the way my limbs look
Completely covered in blood
Consumed by cuts big and small
But deep down inside
The pure me, the small piece left
wants to want to stop

I want to kill myself
So badly, It be so much easier
Just to silently stop breathing
I want it so bad I've tried
I want it like nothing else
But I don't want to want it

Deep down inside
Beneath the shiny, pink scar tissue
There is a little girl
That girl is silenced now
But she wants to be happy
She wants to live

Screaming Inside"I know what's wrong with me, and I know how to treat it."

"Then why are you here?"

"I want help."

"But what you're doing, it's as much as anyone could help you with. You're doing more for yourself than anyone could do for you. So what do you wnat me to do?"

Silence.
I want your help.
"You're doing extremely well considering..."

Silence.
Please help me, I don't want to be strong. I'm not strong. I just want you to help me!!! Please!!!

"Take care of yourself."

Silence.

(Screaming inside)

TiredI'm tired. Just tired.

Tired of always crying myself to sleep
Sick of missing you so much each week.
Exhausted from pretending that I'm okay
Miserable from ignoring you every day.

I don't want to fight with you, no more,
This sorrow exhausts me to my core.
I'm sick of the tears, sick of the pain
I just want to feel normal again.

Pretending we're fine isn't working
I can't hide the fact that I'm hurting.
Please, stop fighting, pick up your phone
You know it's nobody's fault but your own.

~C♡

How to Keep It A SecretCareful, careful you don't want to die
Do it right and people won't cry
Take a knife and hold it to your wrist,
Run it across and don't you dare twist.
Stay quiet, quiet, and don't say a word
If you do, they'll think your absurd.
Don't make a sound and you won't hear them quip
Scream out loud and you'll get the whip.
They'll lock you up and call you crazy,
Force pills down your throat to put you in a dazy
So when you find your little friend
Keep him safe until the very end.
Never, ever let him go
If you do, we'll be sure to know.

What Makes My SecretsThis wicked awful intruder
Consumes all of the wonders inside
Everything is going dark,
Nothing I know can hide.

Soon this will be over, though
When I am dead and gone
This unwanted pain and sorrow
Has caused everything to go wrong.

One minute I was flying high,
Then I fell fast and hard.
I started doing harmful things,
But then became alarmed.

My whole life was in shambles,
And I thought it was way too tough
To get it back together again,
It could never happen fast enough

I stumbled from one day to another,
Not exactly sure of what to do.
As life was getting harder and harder,
I became more and more confused.

There were t

I Am CutHis eyes caught something, the smile suddenly draining from his face
Clasping her wrist he drug her reluctantly under the light
Anger shivered through his body as he took her into his embrace
"It's alright.." he whispered, "it's going to be alright..."

His gentle lips met her crimson scars
As she buried the remorse on her face into his chest
The tears in his eyes fell like shooting stars
As his fingertips caressed her thin mangled skin

Strawberry gashes laced her frail arm
Despair and weariness now darkened her expression
How much self-hate it takes to self-harm
Suffocating in an abyss of wretched depression

"Why didn't you tell

Shadows Crawling on My SkinShadows crawling on my skin,
Punching holes trying to get within
My blood to pierce my fragile heart.
At the wrist is where they start.
Hollering in pain in the dead of night,
Holding back tears with all my might.
Finally breaking down, on my knees,
Yelling out random swears and pleas.
Shadows piercing like a sword through my heart,
All these secrets are tearing me apart.
A blade grazing across my skin,
All the shadows breaking in.
My blood ran black from that day on,
And still I cannot see the sun.

You've Broken Me In TwoYou have me locked away tightly
in your box of conundrums,
buried deep in your chest
beneath your translucent skin.
You've torn open and trespassed
on my most sacred of possessions,
branding it with your searing imprints
of lost affections and rotting promises.

You've broken me in two.

You walk through my mind,
crash and burn,
taking all that pleases those electric orbs
and stealing away my sense of self-worth.
You held my hand sweetly
for just a brief moment,
then twisted my arm, snapping the brittle bones
and rendering me defenseless against your bitter tirade.

You've broken me in two.

You gave me the world
to spin hig

the loss filled boy

Look past his scars
into the eyes of a
tortured soul his life
full of loss and
rejection dont judge
his madness for he
cant help what fate
has brought his way
there is no light
in his life to keep
the darkness at bay
to stop the poison
pills from crawling
down his throat and
ending his pain

I want to CUT NOWI want to cut so badly right now.
I long for that fiery energy that fuels my cutting.
I want to feel the blade rip open my skin.
I want to hear the blade as it slices open my arm.
I want to see the red blood drip down my arm.
I want to see that scarlet liquid soak into my clothes.
I want to feel the cool air as it caresses my blood soaked skin.
I need it to cool my inner fires.
I need my blood and pain to put out the painful coals inside.
I need it.
I want it.

Let me have it.

SickI'm sick of all the lies
Sick of the Pain, Sick of the Regret. Sick of this Game.
It's ripping me apart, Straight through the middle.
Why Can't I live, Why am I alive?
What it suppose to mean? What does it mean when you can't even Dream?
I'm Sick in the mind, So it Can't be seen.
I thought you'd help me. You said you wouldn't leave.
Now you left me, and I'm sitting here in misery.
I'm Sick of it all, So with this gun, I'll make the bodies Fall.
Just another time where you won't see the Sun.

No tearsYour heart was torn into pieces
Soul locked into it's very own shell
Your words so unheard
Yet you can't cry

It's eating you alive from inside
Cold whispers telling about Death
Darkness bringing endless despair
Yet you don't seek any help

Your chains holding you
Yet you can't break them

Your demons haunting you
Yet you can't defeat them.

Give Me A BreakIf it would all stop.
Stop moving forward.
Pause, stop the world spinning
Just for a little while.
Let me catch up
Catch my breath.

But I know if I paused
I would never start again
The warm deep calm
That would wash over me
I would never let go.

I haven't slept very well,
Dreams are haunting.
I don't know anything but nightmares
I can't handle being alone,
Or being with people.

I want a break.
I need to stop treading water
Please, God, throw me a life raft
I don't know if my legs and arms
Will give out.

I've been struggling for so long
Underwater, breathing through a straw
I've surfaced but I get pulled under
Just

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More from ~DeadRedMoon

Below The Silver MoonIf I'm your everything
Then you have nothing now.
I was your world...
You always showed me how
How I made you feel
Through words and actions
But this love, like paint, began to peel
To crack with time
To me you faded out of sight
and your voice would no longer chime
Yet your love was still strong
and just mine had begun to leave
I can't help but believe I'm wrong
Wrong for walking so soon
But what did we share
Besides above us, the silver moon

CowardA fighter, no coward here
for its not the dark I fear
not poison, bones or blood
no tears shed, although one could
weep at one notion
as vast as the ocean
its not the dark I fear
a fighter, no coward here
but instead of the gloom
of ones impending doom
its life instead
That thing that brings such dread
for its not the dark I fear
but its life, yes a coward here
for surely endless nights
endless dreams , evading the fights
would be more like bliss
than life, so hit and miss.

Do they? Do you?Do they know? The scars they create run so deep
And their love is not a gift, but a burden I must keep
Do they feel? The chocking pain
the acid trickle of blood through a vein
Do they see? The shell of who I used to be
do they even remember that part of me
Do they taste? The more bitter than sweet dreams
the sick, decomposing, love streams
Do they sense? My dying heart
My broken soul falling apart
Do they smell? The burning memories
dipped in gasoline
the lingering scent of a world so clean
Do they understand? This disease from which
I will not recover
that it will not leave for another
Do they breath? The same air I do
For

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Submitted: March 26, 2012
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Don't tell me your not broken.

by ~DeadRedMoon, Mar 26, 2012, 12:21:33 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Don't tell me that your not broken.
When I can see your scars
I can see the stitches where you sewed up your skin with love
And I can see the shards of glass in your soul, that cut you open
Don't tell me that your emotionally flawless
When your far from whole
I can still see the tear tracks down your cheek that ran through the layers of hurt left by your father.
And I know that those tracks are hard to wipe away using the back of your bruised hand. Just let me hold it.
And maybe I can see your soul...
So don't lie to me I know that you are far from fine.
And please just let your cuts bleed into mine. Pin your wounds to mine using the metal we created in our hearts. Its strong enough.
Don't tell me your not broken..when I can see the numb in your heart and the ache in your head. The little broken bones that stretch the skin...some of them left by me.
And don't tell me that your soul is free.
When I can feel the steel weights of regret and loss and memories and every other cliché thing to cause pain to every human being.
And you are human. So don't hide the scars that criss cross along every body. And maybe yours are deeper. But I'll master the art of healing if you just share this god damn feeling. And I will try to sew you up, piece you back together like a jigsaw- just let me touch the pieces